Rule Of Two

by Sarlacc

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released July 18, 2015



all rights reserved


Sarlacc Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

"Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it."

Heavy music of varying velocities, stained by Star Wars, hailing from Pittsburgh and performed by two.

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Track Name: Black Sun
Now, in the galaxy we inhabit... The Black Sun radiates upon us darkly. Its rot luminary in view but beneath our perception. Cold, it turns the gears of control. Shadows growing into the light. Move to erode the world, to recreate civilization. Know thy enemy. It knows who you are. The morning star spreads its lie, "Better a Black Sun than none." And at the end of everything the beast will be taken.
Track Name: Moff Tarkin and the Prisoner of Alderaan
Leia, why so Sirius? Do what's right they'll lock you up. The media will spin you as a threat. Moff Tarkin rules through fear of force. Decorations are his god, butcher making planets disappear. Wilhuff will huff anything to increase his dominance. Wilhuff will huff the final breaths of his enemies. Wilhuff will huff the farts of those in his oversector. Wilhuff will huff the foul stench of freedom through the fingers of his phrik fist.
Track Name: Lost. In Space.
Here we go again cause the saga never ends. Here we go again with another film for you to defend. Here comes number seven, we'll just walk away with questions. This island Earth is getting worse, there's no way to redact it. We cheered when Lucas sold his crown. Will these new movies let us down? A ruined franchise's commonplace. Abrams making Lost in space. No two kingdoms should share a king. Spoilers ruin everything. Lens flare blinds us from the truth. Four billion dollars, something new.
Track Name: The Apprentice
Completed his lightsaber days ago, training on Raxus Prime. Stumbled over a Sith holocron deep in a cavern. It killed his master. Opening to him slightly like Pinhead's puzzle box. Filling his heart with vitality straight from the Dark Side, a brand new coldness. "What is this nightmare that's befallen me? Why do I feel nothing for the man who instructed me?" It replied, "My name is Darth Andeddu. I am your new master, I'll be breaking you."
Track Name: Into The Great Unknown
On the run again along the edge of wild space. TIE fighters coming in. We really pissed them off this time. I'll face anything from the right of my pilot's side; my life creditor, by best friend. Ambush! We're covered by two dozen squads. Chewie, keep the rear deflector shields hot. The nava-computer's been fucked since we left. Can't wait to jump, punch it or this is the end. We made it, we're lost and we need to set down. Crash land in a forest, no spaceport around. Cut down by natives, I guess this is it. Just take me back, let me die in the ship. Han, I can't believe you're gone. This wasn't how it's supposed to be. Into the great unknown all alone without me. Who is this guy that looks like you? His hat is pretty cool, just like your vest.
Track Name: Thrash Rendar
In the shadows the empire hides many hopeful proles that hold the keys to its negation, Rendar's one of those. He'll run shipments for the rebels, but he'll never join to maintain his independence and make some heavy coin. Freighter over fighter or whichever pays the most. Scream past you in the Outrider and turn you into toast. [Blasting] metal through the galaxy, he's our crew chief on tour. Lebo is his sidekick as he's seen it all before. Push yourself to the limit to yield self-discovery. Break the Kessle Run record, thrash Rendar reality. Fight against evil more than just when the price is right. Fake your own death, get the hell out of Dodge tonight.
Track Name: Sith Cult Today
They gather at the Jedi tomb, a force nexus to harvest energy. They cry, "Marka Ragnos, show us the dark secrets of the Force! He resurrects tonight." And so we ask, "What can a dead Sith lord give you?" "Everything," they say. Sith cult today, rise. Axmis leads them across the desert to the Valley of the Dark Lords. At Ragnos crypt the scepter asserts the storaged Force energy to complete the rebirth.
Track Name: Slimey Piece of Worm-Ridden Filth
Trail of dreck you leave behind makes me puke as you snake by. Gastropod hermaphrodite, mucus dribbling from your spine. Repulsive worm spewing forth more worms, you welcome their parasitic presence. Lord of smut and drunk on clout, feast on shit, your life is out
Track Name: Grind Army of the Republic
Growing a race of war slaves, kept secret till it's time to unleash them on the battlefield where Sid controls both sides. First order of business from a tyrant, the Dark Times have just begun. Many from one, save one for a son, the republic is undone. No one really knew the tasks that they were born to do. The Sith are poised to rule the universe again.
Track Name: Inter-Galactic Kegger
Hop in your spaceship and fly it towards Earth. We're gonna party for all that we're worth. Pack a beer bong and coozy and astronaut's suit. We stashed ninety kegs in a cave on the moon. We're not alone in the universe, so we might as well rage together.
Track Name: Spice Traitor
We met you in a skeezy bar at home on Tatooine. I should have seen it then that you were just a money fiend. Profit from our desperation, credits on your mind. We could buy our own ship for what you're asking for a ride. I understand it's business and you're not here to make friends. You know what we're up against, go pay your debts instead. These people call it "spice" cause they're too tense to call it "dope." From giggledust to glitterstim it covers the full scope. In our eyes illegal spice is something that we're after. Getting high, we'll pay the price. Black market growing faster. From Kessle mines to Emerald Square, your profits consume all your care. Suicide assault, we fail it's not your fault, but your help would be most welcome. I'd almost rather die than have you save my life. You'll be out of a job when they legalize this spice.
Track Name: Darth Vapor
Breathe deeply of these herbs and share a vision with me. We'll hot box my meditation chamber, the things we'll see. Force-fed phantasmagory, the future in view. Destruction of the Death Star, and the emperor's doom. This bud enhances our communion with the Living Force. Life will go on without us, evil runs its course. Breathe deep.
Track Name: Force Choke
Breathe. This Force is greater then the non-existence of your god. You place false hopes that you are correct in your belief. This is something real, feel it flow through me. Feel my grip tightening around your neck. This is your end, I choose you to die. Suffocation, suffering because of your insolence. I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Track Name: I Drink Your Blue Milk... I Drink it Up
Two ounces vodka, half ounce blue curacao, pineapple juice, one splash of Sprite. Sounds like a bitch in a glass. That mix doesn't kick any ass. Standard Caucasian with bantha milk instead of cream. That's how you get down with a real blue Russian drink. If bantha milk is outlawed in your sector, just mix one up au regular and use blue coloring. And drop a line to your moff that his vegan-friendliness is fucking up your booze lyfe.